Hello world! It's been a long time since I posted, and I feel like I'm repeating myself with every post by saying that. Graduate school life is consuming my very existence, but I will try my best to get back on track with this blog. I created this blog with hopes of finding a safe, pure, beautiful place to open up about my own spirit, my thoughts, and about my silly puppy. 

With saying that, it breaks my heart to say that one of my puppies, my very best friend, passed away on Tuesday. My blog has centered around my newest puppy, Gracie, but I have had another puppy for ten years. He was my best friend, my sweet buddy, and the curliest haired dog I'd ever seen. I picked him out of a litter when I was in the eighth grade, and he has been at my side since then. I never in a million years expected to come home late that night from school to find out that my puppy had died, and not only died, but had been killed by a car driving past my neighborhood. I've shed many tears over his death, and for a moment, I didn't understand why he had to die, especially in such a terrible way. I already miss my puppy terribly. I keep expecting to see his curly head pop out around a corner, or for me to wake up and find him cuddled up against my back. I will always miss him and think of him. I'm grateful that God blessed me with such a wonderful fur baby. I wish God had not taken him away so suddenly, or in such a horrible way, but I know that he's in a better place, running around and playing with all the other puppies that have passed on. 

Now it's just me and Gracie, and I hope that I can be a good mommy for her. I pray that God will help me to fully understand the lesson that came with losing my puppy. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, even the things that are heartbreaking. I feel that I am not at a place to accept that reason yet, but I pray that God will help me to embrace it, learn from it, and cope with the loss of my best friend. 

Today, I don't have a moral lesson to talk about in my post. I'm simply leaving this post with my own dilemma. Perhaps someone out there is facing a similar dilemma, but I assure you, God will answer. As long as you are open to God's voice, He will speak. 

So stay positive my friends! Keep smiling, the world is still moving, and life is still blossoming. Keep on keeping on :)

Headaches and Separation

Hello hello!

It's been months since I've posted so surely we have some catching up to do. I recently completed my first semester of grad school (don't worry, I passed), have watched Gracie grow up and become a killer soccer player (she also loves football) and have come to realize a great deal about myself. Oh, I forgot to mention that Gracie is now a skilled swimmer (I'm pretty sure she's actually a genius, and by genius I mean completely obnoxious sometimes). I've been forced into doing an awful lot of soul searching lately, a task that I'm still undertaking with constant prayers and a lot of caffeine induced headaches. The headaches, whether caused by caffeine, stress, lack of rest, or my favorite as of lately ATTACK OF THE SINUS PRESSURE, are all an important part of our daily lives and our growth, and even our intimacy with God. Uh yes, I said it, our relationship with God.

Having a intimate relationship with God isn't easy. We're constantly bombarded with temptations that get between us and God. We get distracted by our schedules, our jobs, our personal relationships, and sometimes even ourselves (yep, we are some pretty selfish people sometimes). Our own society desperately tries to craft us into an ideal example of today's culture, demanding that we look a certain way, act a certain way, be in a certain political party, and lose sight of whatever is at our core. We are driven by the people around us and the media to be larger than life success stories. So many of us have broken families, numbness within our hearts, and destructive factors that we accept as part of who we are.

Sounds like a ton of reasons to have a headache.

It's hard to strip all that away and see the simplicity of what is actually at hand. Society is not our creator. Our country isn't what defines who we are. It's not what school we go to, what sport teams we like, what brand of clothes we wear, the number on our scale (and mine is a little high for my liking). We all come from the same place, and that place is from God. How humbling it is to know that we were brought to life and handcrafted by a being that is completely beyond definition. God is in everything around us, or let me put it even more simply, God IS everything around us. We are in a constant state of being with God. Then how is it so hard to be close to Him?

We constantly forget that God has intentions for us. God has a plan for everything we do, but we hinder that plan with other things. Don't worry though, God is also the most forgiving and understanding (how did we get so lucky?). God understands our troubles, even the silly ones, like how upset we get during traffic or when our plans fall apart. God knows us for exactly what we are because God made us. We find ourselves feeling so depressed, tired, and frustrated in life. It's because we're trying to meet the standards of other people and fit into roles that shouldn't even be ours. We aren't trying to be who we really are, the core that God so perfectly put together.

We all have things about us that are at the core of who we are. Some of us are good listeners, others are better talkers, and some of us are just really good at making others feel better. When we try and think about what makes us who we REALLY are, it's good to start with the personality traits that draw other people towards us. What is it that makes someone excited about seeing me? Is it that I'm really nice? Could it be that I'm very honest? There's something about each one us that makes us shine out in a dark room, and that light comes from God. God dwells within all of us, so we shouldn't feel concerned with becoming what our society or the media puts out on display. We should want to be as much like God, or who we are in our most genuine form, as possible.

In my next post, I want to talk about another topic that is so important to getting close to God. It's a problem that we have ALL encountered, and since so many people are graduating right now, I feel that the topic is completely relevant. So until next time, God bless, and remember that when life gives you stress, open your arms and just praise God, because I promise you, everything is completely under control.

Why Should We Trust God?

It's been a really long time since I last posted! I've been super busy settling into graduate school life, but I absolutely love it. It feels amazing once you start falling into the path that God has laid out for you. In this post, I want to focus specifically on a really scary word: Trust.

For some of us, trust is extremely hard to hand out. I know for me, it's been nearly impossible. I would definitely blame certain things in my life as being contributing factors for my lack of trust, but in reality, trust doesn't have to be that difficult. Some of us have been betrayed in friendships, romantic relationships, job situations, and other important times in our lives. Opening up your heart can be one of the hardest things in the world to commit to. However, that's what God calls us to do.

We can't expect our life to run smoothly if we're fighting to trust God. God shouldn't have to earn our trust. Think about it: God gave us everything. He gave us a beautiful world to call our own. He has given us an opportunity to be great because we are His creation. Best of all, God sacrificed the most important thing to Him, Jesus Christ, so that we could be blessed with an intimate connection to God and a way to eternity with Him. Isn't that pretty great? So why in the world would we feel so distressed to trust God?

I know we've all been there. Something happens and your first reaction is, "God, why? Why me? Why now?" and then we feel betrayed because this certain thing in our life didn't go like we wanted it to. This eventually turns to anger towards God, or resentment, or pure frustration because we can't understand God's ways. However, the point of the whole thing is not to necessarily understand God, because that's impossible. God is far too fantastic and perfect for us to wrap our heads around. The point is to TRUST God despite our inability to understand Him. As a human being, this is crazy. We desire understanding, we constantly need to figure things out. But with God, we have to stop and surrender to Him and what we can't fully comprehend.

Trusting God can be difficult at first. It goes against what comes easy to us. The first thing I suggest is prayer. It's okay to ask God for help, especially in these sorts of things. God wants to help us whenever we ask. Don't be ashamed to ask God things like, "God, help me love you better" or "God, I'm struggling to trust you. Please help me to trust you even when it may be difficult, and help me to believe that you have my best interest at heart". I know this was difficult for me. I felt ashamed to ask God something like that. Honestly though, we should never feel ashamed to ask God for things like this in prayer, because let's be blunt--God knows everything about us. So, He already knows that we're struggling with it! Prayer is our way of intimately communicating with God, so use it!

Within the past few months, I have begun truly making changes in my life so that I can better trust God. Since I have, I have felt so much more at peace with my life and have noticed things smoothly occurring in my life. Even if I have something that's an annoyance come up, I tell myself, "It's okay Lauren, this is all a part of God's plan for me" and then my stress is gone. Trust is one of the key components of living a Godly life and a life of spiritually. God desires our trust and deserves it completely. It won't happen overnight, but prayer and an open heart will make it much easier.

So with that I shall now scurry off to do wonderful graduate school work. God Bless!