When He Speaks

Gracie hates the be put in the kitchen. Every time we lock her up, she howls and cries, but eventually settles down on her pillow and sleeps. We keep her confined when we aren't at home, or when she just gets too wild to be dealt with. She's still a puppy, so her energy far out stretches our own. 

I just graduated college and I honestly felt like I had everything under control. I was having fun with my friends and even though I'd become emotionally numb, I thought I was doing what I deserved. But I was also doing some things that I knew weren't okay, deep down, even if they were a fun distraction. I was drinking, mainly because I thought it was acceptable at my age. I'm 21, I'm supposed to do this stuff. 

Then God stopped me in the way He knew would catch my attention the loudest. He struck where it would hurt, and even now I feel some sting from it. However, I see clearly now that what I thought was making me feel better was really doing the opposite. It wasn't me, and I knew it all along, deep down. The words still echo within me "you haven't changed". I thought I had. I had tried so hard to change, but it was true, I had not. 

My attention to God had drifted. 

I keep Gracie locked up sometimes because she needs boundaries. She needs my eyes on her. God gave us boundaries for protection and for guidance. 

I am thankful for the boundaries that have been set for me and I am glad that I have a God who knows me so well. Though I am hurting, He is there to comfort me.